Meatballs.

January 28, 2025

Meatballs.

January 28, 2025

I felt bad for laughing until I got to the PS, where you give permission to do just that. Thank you for turning a nightmarish experience into such an interesting story.

Sue Bramstedt on February 08, 2025
It’s weird to say, but thanks for sharing! There shouldn’t be any stigma about gyno stuff, as you call it, it’s part of life. And who knows, this story might help connect the dots for someone else with the same condition as you.
So yeah, thanks for sharing. You’re a tough woman, I wish you a speedy recovery!

Anne on February 08, 2025
Uuuhhh bedside manners, doctor…. where did they go…. Wow. I hope that your health continues to improve and that the fibroid is just a ‘normal’ one. Sending you healing vibes.

Cilia Agusta on February 08, 2025
Thanks for this. And, yes, I did laugh a couple of times. I’ve had a similar experience, except I had a polyp about the size of a kidney bean. Nowhere near as full-bodied as your fibroid. I hope you feel better soon and that your iron levels improve. Take care of yourself.

Anonymous on February 08, 2025
Dear Lord, why don’t they have an “I know you’re enthusiastic but please maintain bedside manner” class in medical school? That sounds completely traumatizing – I’m sorry that happened to you.

You also have a real gift in writing, because this was a very well told story. I wonder if the fibroid ended up with a name? I think it sounds like a Leonard.

Kristy Alexander on February 08, 2025
Poor dear girl. That was a tough day. Goodness, we women are strong. And tough. The tears are renewal – releasing us so we can recharge. Sending you hugs and healing vibes and best wishes for good results. Take care of yourself.

Erin on February 08, 2025
This really made my day. I’m recovering from a hysterectomy for my fibroids. My Dr. equated delivering my necrotic fibroid filled uterus to delivering a future linebacker. Gotta love gyno. Hope you feel better soon!

Darla on February 08, 2025
OK you had to know that comes under the category of “things that have happened to me that were almost worth it because of the story I got to tell after”!
Hope things get better soon.

Cathryn on February 08, 2025
So sorry to hear of your experience. I’ve been struggling with ridiculous heavy periods, I ended up ambulanced to a&e twice last year and needed 2 blood transfusions.and 2 months on iron tablets. I feel your pain. If the bleeding doesn’t settle please do all you can to support your liver to detox excess estrogen. You may also need to take progesterone besides the coil. Best of luck.

Phoebe on February 08, 2025
What she did was so very very wrong. She should have first done an ultrasound & advised you of what needed doing. Local anesthetic (barest minimum) or general. She behaved extremely unprofessionally & should be reported. Where was your privacy?!? Inserting an IUD also should be done with at least local anesthetic! What a prized cow she is. Do not let thus slide
I hope you feel better promptly xx

Suze on February 08, 2025
Ok, so I’m very sorry for your gyno adventures, but I did in fact laugh and can totally sympathize.
Dark humor is a very valuable survival skill.
Thanks for sharing and I hope recovery progresses quickly!

patty Hemstreet on February 08, 2025
Hugs, 22 years ago the day after Mother’s day, I had a hysterectomy because I had a fibroid the size of your head with 27 other little fibroids. I hope you feel better soon.

Kristi Zemas on February 08, 2025

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A General Update :)

January 28, 2025

Ok, warning, this update has pretty much nothing to do with yarn. It's a general life and health update and, folks, it's gonna get gross. Not "here are photos" gross, but definitely "enthusiasic gyno" gross. Ok. You've been warned

LIFE UPDATES

Things have been weird here at The Blue Brick. I've had some ongoing health problems and we aren't quite out of the woods yet. In short, last September a routine blood test had my doc calling and telling me to get to emerge for a blood transfusion and iron infusions. My iron was so low it was undetectable (abnormal periods and inadequate nutrition).

It explained a lot. A lot of things that I had written off to stress and exhaustion. I was tired all the time (duh), losing lots of hair, pale and tired with no appetite and, alarmingly, had begun to crave things that weren't food. Sleep was elusive, I had wicked restless leg syndrome and difficulty focusing. I've been getting iron by IV and supplements for a few months now, and things are starting to normal out, but abnormal bleeding at the, er, other end, has made it hard to get caught up. I discovered I was a pain in the ass as a patient, insisting I was fine and, thinking about the story of the little Dutch boy and the dike I even wryly suggested that we "get Tito to stick a finger in it". Not my finest moment.

GROSS WARNING. GROSS THINGS ARE COMING.

So first of all, I was prepared for many things from the gyno, but unbridled enthusiasm and ad hoc surgery were not among them.

We have a discussion about my options and she suggests a biopsy to rule out anything more serious (and I’ll do your pap while I’ve got you open haha) just to make sure nothing else is wrong. She’s a woman who loves her job.

She gets me in the stirrups and pulls out a medieval metal speculum (trust me, she says, SO MUCH BETTER than plastic!!). This thing belongs in a museum. It’s been in vaginas other than mine. And no, she didn’t even warm up the gel.

She opens me up, grins from ear to ear and exclaims “Wowza! Did you know you have a MASSIVE fibroid pushing out of your cervix? Has anyone looked in here lately?” As though I was a Tupperware container holding takeaway of indeterminate age instead of a living, breathing, ball of anxiety. If she could have yelled “BINGO” she would have. She exclaims “you ALWAYS gotta look in the vagina, you never know WHAT you’ll find!”. (Side note, if I ever decided to start a band “Thrift Shop Vagina” is obv. gonna be the name.

She goes on to grab forceps and a knife and cheerfully says “You might need to go down to surgery but lets see if I can get this sucker!”. She begins rummaging around while saying things like “You’re gonna wanna see this after” and “holy smokes it’s big” and “C’mere bugger”.

It’s a vagina. not a cereal box. No one should be rummaging around in there like they’re searching for the voltron ring at the bottom. And words like “surprise!” should never be attached to surgery.

Just when I’m ready to scream she goes “got it!” and holds up this horrible bloody lump. She encourages me to take pictures to “show the hubs” if I want. She says unsettling things like “that was so satisfying!” and “Ok lets do the biopsy! I’m gonna get so many goodies outta you today!”

So here I am, cranked open with her entire hand in there, while she’s performing basically day surgery with no anaesthetic and enthusiastic exclamations are coming from between my legs for all the wrong reasons. It turns out getting a biopsy is like precisely like coring an apple.

Finally, with blood all over the exam table, I get the speculum out. I sat up and started laughing because she was laughing and giving off vibes of triumph and jubilance but that was not at all my vibe and honestly it was like a Seinfeld episode so then I just started sobbing. Which is too bad because she was trying to tell me a story about another, presumably equally remarkable fibroid, but when she saw my face she was all “I’ll just let you change then…”

My vagina hurt, and my uterus was cramping like a beast. I stand up, and blood and tissue commence coming out and plopping loudly and obscenely onto the floor. She gives me a pad, says “Be right back, the girls have GOT to see this” and goes to PARADE IT AROUND THE CLINIC. I am 99% certain she hung it on her tree as a conversation piece.

Still exclaiming about “how satisfying that was” she cheerfully congratulated me on “delivering a fibroid”.

Post Script - Sorry for the TMI but I hope it made you laugh. I went in later to get an IUD to control the excessive bleeding which has yet to take effect. The doctor who put it in actually walked in and said “Hey! You're the woman with the fibroid!”. File under “Things I do not want to be known for”.

The Findings Collection

The Escarpment Cowl 2025

Comments

I felt bad for laughing until I got to the PS, where you give permission to do just that. Thank you for turning a nightmarish experience into such an interesting story.

It’s weird to say, but thanks for sharing! There shouldn’t be any stigma about gyno stuff, as you call it, it’s part of life. And who knows, this story might help connect the dots for someone else with the same condition as you.
So yeah, thanks for sharing. You’re a tough woman, I wish you a speedy recovery!

Uuuhhh bedside manners, doctor…. where did they go…. Wow. I hope that your health continues to improve and that the fibroid is just a ‘normal’ one. Sending you healing vibes.